Kefka's Day
by Sydney9783
Summary: Final Fantasy 6 fic. A look at a normal day for Kefka. (New chapter is up. Kefka assaults Squaresoft headquarters!)
1. Default Chapter

Kefka yawned groggily as he got out of his bed. His hair was messy and his face paint smeared. The feather he normally wore in his hair was smashed and beyond repair.   
  
Curses, he thought. He walked to the window, opened it, and spotted a flock of ducks flying over the city. He cast Bolt as they passed over his building and struck all 20 or so of them dead at once. A long, black wing feather floated down right into Kefka's hand.  
  
Not exactly my normal attire, but it will do, he thought with a grimace. Below he heard cars crash and people yell at each other as the dead ducks fell onto the road. He laughed his legendary laugh.  
  
He turned and looked at his dwelling in disgust. His apartment was small, only having two rooms, the bathroom and the main room. There was a dresser or two which held his belongings and a medium size T.V., but that was about it.  
  
How could Square just dump him after Final Fantasy 6? He was the best villain ever! And everyone knew it. They were just jealous. And Square was just afraid of him. Afraid of all the money they'd make if they let him be the villain again.   
  
"Morons." He said as he went into the bathroom.  
  
He emerged about an hour later. It took a long time to re-adjust the paint on his face, fix his hair and get into his usual clown attire. One had to look good if he was to cause chaos.  
  
Kefka glanced at the clock.   
  
10:47 A.M.  
  
Perfect, he thought. He didn't sleep in today...which meant....  
  
"Chaos!" Kefka said with glee outside the building. He filled his lungs with the contaminated air of the city. He took off down the sidewalk, pushing people aside and kicking various kinds of animals along the way. He kept on, causing little bits of discord as he went. Until he came to a sleeping hobo with a small can in his hand. Next to him was a sign that said "Money for food."  
  
Kefka leaned in and saw a little over five dollars in bills and change. He smiled and pilfered all the money. "How kind of you." He said while pocketing the money. "I was actually getting kind of hungry." He smiled and went on his way.  
  
He continued on his way for a block or two, but stopped suddenly. He had had a strange feeling all day. Like someone was watching him. He could feel their eyes piercing his back. He clenched his fists and spun around.  
  
"What are you looking at?!" He yelled with anger at the reader. "What, you want some of this bub?! Fine! Let me show you a fun little spell. It's called DIE MORON!" Kefka was about to incinerate you with a Flare spell, but stopped as he heard the barking, chirping and Meowing of many, many animals.   
  
His heart skipped a beat. Was it true? Could it be true? He turned slowly to his left. A tear of joy appeared in his eye. The pet store. Finally, they had rebuilt it! And it looked good as new too! You couldn't even tell it had been burned down to the frame by a Merton spell.  
  
He turned back to the reader. "You're lucky. But don't worry, i'll be back for YOU later."  
  
With that he dashed across the busy highway and into the pet store.  
  
Oh, it was wonderful. So many animals. Small puppies ran around in their large cages, playing with each other. Kittens layed about lazily. Snakes slithered. The cashier hid behind the counter. Fish swam. Everything was how it had been!  
  
The cashier peeked his eyes above the counter. "Y-You again! You can't....you can't come in here! T-The court order said-"  
  
Kefka eyed the young man with his sadistic glare, cutting him off. "Court order? What's that?" Kefka feigned ignorance. "Oh! You must mean the thing I use as toilet paper!"  
  
Kefka walked to the spider container. "Hello my little freinds. Are we feeling poisonous today?" Kefka nodded, as if the spiders talked to him. "Good, good. I have plans for you my freinds."  
  
The cashier got a little courage and popped back up behind the counter with a shotgun shaking nervously in his hands. "Get out of my store you HAS BEEN!"  
  
Kefka's eyes went wide.  
  
It took the fire department two hours to stop the fire. They managed to save all the pets, but the store owner was burnt beyond recognition. Kefka had escaped soon after bombarding the business with twenty Flare spells and seven Fire 3's.   
  
He had returned home, to his small apartment. He had found a letter from Sephiroth in his mailbox on his way in.   
  
He spent a long time just looking at it, being sure it was the letter that would bring him back to fame. Sephiroth was always there to give Kefka information about upcoming Final Fantasy games and possible jobs for him. The clown had known they were working on Kingdom Hearts 2, and the only way to salvage the horrific series was for him to make an appearance.  
  
He reached for it slowly, ripped it open and closed his eyes. Eyes still closed, he pulled the contents out. Opening his eyes he began reading the letter.  
  
"Dear Kefka,  
  
Hey man. This is Seph. Guess what dude? I got a contract for three more Kingdom Hearts games! Isn't that wild? That means more of my badass self!  
  
Oh, and I talked to the president of Square about you getting a role in it. He said only characters designed by Tetsua Nomura can be in a Kingdom Heart game. Sorry man. Guess you're out of luck.  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Sephiroth"  
  
Kefka's eye brow twitched. The letter disappeared in flame. His mind raced with hate, hate, hate and more hate. His imagination went wild with burning cities and the screams of the damned. All of his fury merged together to form one, single idea.   
  
If Squaresoft couldn't see the error of their ways, there was only one way to get them to understand. To show them.   
  
His eyes burning with the fires of hatred and his face as serious as it could get, Kefka began to march to Squaresoft headquarters. 


	2. Kefka's Triumph

Look! Look! I wrote another chapter! Yay! (Worship me.) Hope y'all enjoy it. :)  
  
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Kefka's Triumph  
  
The T.V. flipped on, and was quickly changed to the news channel.  
  
Two people sat behind a news desk. A male and female.  
  
"Hi, i'm Jannet Yolan." The female reporter said.   
  
"And i'm James Tocco." Said the male reporter seated right next to her.  
  
"And this is Channel Six News." Jannet shuffled some papers. "In our top story tonight, Blitzball superstar Tidus sues Keyblade master Sora for impersonation. Tidus stated "'The little brat is copying everything about me!" Tidus then proceeded to cry. Because, according to a retort by Sora, he is a 'cry baby'."  
  
A studio hand appeared from the side and whispered something into James' ear and handed him a piece of paper. "This just in! It would seem that one time villain Kefka is, at this very moment, holding the entirety of the Squaresoft board members hostage! We go now to our reporter live on the scene Wedge, with camera man Biggs."  
  
A little picture popped up on the screen. Wedge held the microphone loosely. Behind him sirens roared, SWAT teams pulled up and fire fighters tried to quell many fires in the parking lot where most cars were ablaze.  
  
"Wedge, what's the situation down there?" James asked.  
  
"Well, according to what the police have said, Kefka has taken nearly everyone in the building hostage. Some were able to escape before he took the building however. We have two of them here now." Wedge walked to the side, followed closely by the camera.  
  
"Here we have escapees Celes and Yuna." Wedge place the microphone in front of them. "Tell us what happened girls."  
  
Celes spoke first. "Well, I was minding my own business in the cafeteria, when all of a sudden I heard a huge explosion. I ran to a window and looked outside. Kefka was running around throwing fireballs and lightning bolts at cars and whoever was out there at the time. I've always known the guy was insane. So I ran out the exit in the back and waited for help."  
  
"And what about you Yuna?" Wedge placed the microphone in front of here.  
  
Yuna looked at the camera in terror. "I-I'm sorry."  
  
"Umm....for what?" Wedge asked.   
  
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." She kept mumbling the phrase over and over again.  
  
Wedge cocked an eyebrow. "Uhhh....James, it would appear that miss Yuna is traumatized by this whole experience."  
  
Jame's nodded as another studio hand whispered in his ear again. "Oh. Folks, it seems that Wedge and Biggs have volunteered to bravely go into the headquarters and get a exclusive interview with Kefka."  
  
"WHAT!?" Wedge yelled in disbelief.  
  
"MY ASS WE DID!" Biggs added from behind the camera. Then came the sound of a gun trigger being pulled back.   
  
Wedge looked to the side with fear. "W-Well, maybe it couldn't hurt....heh...heh.."  
  
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Kefka smiled as he sat on a large, expensive looking chair at one end of the rectangular company board table. the twelve executives of Squaresoft sat in their own chairs, all shaking with fear as the clown cast his gaze over them all.  
  
"Gentlemen." Kefka said softly, but it was enough to make them all jump. "I think, over the years, we've had a lot of misunderstandings." Kefka stood up and began to circle the table, walking behind each board member. "The misunderstandings have been these. First, you continued to make Final Fantasy games after the sixth installment. Second, you have made the Kingdom Hearts series. Third, you cast some of the stupidest villains to ever exist in said Kingdom Hearts. And Fourth, and most severely." He stopped behind a pudgy chairman. "YOU HAVE FAILED TO CAST ME IN ALL OF THEM!" Kefka yelled and incinerated the board member.  
  
All the others jumped back in fear as the man disappeared.  
  
Kefka calmed down. "Now." He said as he began walking again. "I'm willing to give you another chance. You have two choices. You can either cast me as the main villain of every future game this company makes, or you can all DIE. The choice is yours."  
  
Kefka sat back down in his chair. The board members just stared at him in fear. Kefka became impatient. "Well? What the hell are you waiting for!? Do your vote or whatever the hell it is you do."  
  
A board member spoke through his fear. "A-All in favor of making K-Kefka the main Villian of all the future Final F-Fantasies, raise your h-hand." He slowly raised his shaking hand.  
  
"NO!" Kefka yelled and shot a beam of fire a the man, incinerating him as well. "I said ALL future games. Now, cast your vote. All in favor, raise your hand." All the board members quickly complied and raised their hands. Kefka smiled and stood up. "Ah! You've made the right choice." Kefka began to walked out of the board room and made his way down to the bottom of the building, whistling his own theme on the way. As he exited the elevator, he saw two reporters.  
  
Wedge and Biggs approached him slowly, moving at a snail's pace. Wedge held the microphone far in front of him, trying not to look at the demented clown. Biggs stood as far away as he could.  
  
"E-Excuse me, Mr. Kefka. W-W-W-We're with Channel six N-News. M-May we have an interview with you!" Wedge pretty much yelled out the last part, placing a hand over his face, full expecting death to befall him.  
  
Kefka shrugged. "No. But I will make a statement. The gracious board has seen the error of their ways. They have decided that I shall be the future villain for ever Squaresoft game to be made from now on, so I...." Kefka trailed off as he saw Wedge's pants become wet as the man peed himself in fright.  
  
Kefka was disgusted and his face showed it. "You little worm! I grace you with my presence and you do THIS!?" Kefka pulled back his arm as if to backhand the worm, but instead of a physical blow, came a ice 3 spell, which effectively turned the two into a giant block of ice.  
  
Kefka dusted off his clothes. "Hmph." Finally, he had gotten everything he rightly deserved. From now on, he would get all the attention and roles he was entitled to. Finally, everyone knew he was the king of villains. 


End file.
